23,313 - Number of fans who packed into Rupp Arena last night for Big Blue Madness where the players and new coach, Billy Gillispie, were introducted.
70,902 - Number of fans who packed into Commonwealth Stadium to see UK upset #1 ranked LSU.
I know it's probably not cool in academic circles, but I find it hard to begrudge the sports programs at UK. There's something to be said for community and morale. There's something to be said for uniting as a group and celebrating those accomplishments instead of glorifying one's own ego, which tends to happen in academia, in my opinion.
In thinking of that, I realize that every school I've attended, from elementary school until now, has had a focus on community, on tradition, on school spirit. I know from the experiences of others that that is not always the case. Maybe I'm just a healthy candidate for school spirit. What can I say...I love and respect tradition and enjoy being a part of it. I like the idea of honoring those who came before me for what they did and paving the way for what others will do long after I'm gone. I don't know what that says about me, and I'm continually learning that not everyone feels this way, which is strange to me. I can't imagine an existence based on gaining attention for myself and, as I said earlier, glorifying my own ego. Other people seem to crave that very thing. I imagine there are some innate personality factors at play there, but I also think environment plays a large role. Speaking only for myself, I'm sure growing up in a small town and having a place in a community of faith greatly contribute to this trait of mine. At even the most basic level, connections abound. You meet someone new at home and within a few minutes, you're likely to figure out that you're either related or know a lot of the same people. People know what other people are doing. They know when someone paints their house a new color, when someone gets a new car, when someone's kid goes off to college. Some people call this intrusive. I call it connected. It has its disadvantages, of course. All things do. But the older I get, the more I value it.
A couple days ago, I was talking with the instructor with whom I will student teach this semester. She mentioned that many students come from small towns and are eager to leave those small towns behind. They run as far as they can from their roots. I told her that I felt the same way as an eighteen-year-old. Granted, I didn't run far, but I truly never dreamed that the thought of settling in my hometown would one day cease to fill me with terror. It has, though. I have no idea where I will make my home after I graduate. I imagine wherever I get a job will be that place. But the thought that that place might be home no longer bothers me. Maybe that's me coming to terms with who I am and accepting what I really want instead of what I think I
should want. Maybe it's maturity. Maybe it's valuing the familiar over the unknown. I don't know.
I do know that two events - my grandmother's death and my teaching experience in McCreary County - totally reshaped my attitude and my vision of my life. The first, while changing me in many ways, changed how I saw family. I've always loved my family, but I don't know that I respected the history, the deep roots of it before that experience. I saw the quiet, gentle way my grandmother touched so many lives. She didn't have a college degree. She didn't have a job that many people would consider important. She didn't sit around expounding on theories and immersed in intellectual pursuits. But she was a smart woman. She followed her heart. She loved her family. And when she died, the proof of those things remained. To me, those things mean a lot more than a bunch of published papers. Those things have a place, but when a choice has to be made, the choice is clear to me. I love books. I love words. I have a deep faith in the power of words to change the world. But to me, people matter more than words, more than theories, more than books. That brings me to the second event.
In my teaching, I saw people who I thought were worlds away from me. So many advantages that I've taken for granted over the years, these people didn't have. What has been easy for me was a struggle for them. And yet I saw our similarities. At the end of the day, most of them just want to be happy. Most of them just want to make life better for themselves, for their families. And the majority of universities don't want these people. So many of them don't have the scores or the financial means to be where I am now. But in a community college setting, they have an opportunity to get a degree. And that degree means an opportunity to get a job that pays more than minimum wage, to get a job that won't move overseas, to get a job that will buy the things their families need. I respect that. Honestly, so many of the students I had will accomplish more with an associate degree or a certificate than I would if I got fifteen PhDs. Teaching writing or literature in this venue is not likely to ever allow me the opportunity to sit around with fellow book lovers in a classroom and wrestle with deep philosophical issues in a text. I realize that, and I'll admit that a part of me mourns that fact. But teaching in such a venue will allow me the opportunity to see students take control of their lives and make differences in their own lives. And if me helping them write a better essay does that, I can only feel blessed at the opportunity to help them move forward. I know I can't "save them all," and I know that I'll probably have many more failures than successes, but at the end of the day, I honestly feel like I'll be making a
real difference. When I wanted to teach like my kindergarten teacher because she made a difference to me, when I wanted to be a lawyer to defend the innocent and bring justice to the guilty, when I wanted to be a psychologist to help people heal or soothe their broken parts - all I've ever wanted is to make a difference. I think I've finally found the way I, in my own way, can do that. I look at my community - the Kentucky that I care about. I see problems. I want to be a part of the solution. I want to be part of that
tradition.
"[T]hat is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete and great." - Willa Cather, My Ántonia
